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FAITH
I never had faith. That’s why I never truly believed in my heart that Jesus died for me. Yes, I believed or so called thought I knew the words in the bible were truth and yeah I knew that God had sent his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins and the whole world’s as well. I mean I pretty much grew up hearing it all the time and reading it in the Bible. But that’s just it, I didn’t believe that he had to die just for ME. All this time, I had so much fear and doubt in what God could accomplish through my life. I knew I was a sinner and completey unworthy of his grace, but the crazy thing is I never truly believed it from my heart until now. It’s so true how you can’t depend solely on facts or feelings. But I just realized that’s what I’ve been doing for most of my life. I still can’t believe it took me this long to truly understand. I’m still in awe of what God has been revealing to me this summer. The blessings just don’t stop. Like I said before, it’s indescribable because we just can’t put the words together to even imagine or describe how great our God really is. He really pressed into my heart this verse from Ephesians 3:20-21. I actually came across it randomly one day because I have my homepage set to verseoftheday.com…I was trying this new thing of wanting to be more holy throughout the year. haha. Anyway, I usually end up skimming the verses and don’t really meditate on them, but this one was so different for me because eversince I read that verse, God completely changed me. I just couldn’t get over this verse because I was reminded of how much I limited God especially when I was distant from Him and my prayers were weak. I thought he wasn’t listening. I forgot how sovereign and mighty he is because I made my problems seem so much bigger than Him. My whole focus this year was ME ME ME….i was so selfish to think that everything was seriously about me. I was completely blinded by this world’s expectation and standards, forgetting that my worth alone comes from the wonderful cross. I have so much to say that I feel like I’m not making any sense now…my thoughts are just all over the place. All I can say is that all the struggles I experienced especially this year was so so worth it! I mean it totally sucked and I felt crappy for a long time but now I have finally gained true joy & peace. I wish I could be more detailed about my struggles but I don’t think I’m ready to tell the whole tumblr community just yet. haha. I would definitely like to share my testimony with you if you are interested though. I know I’m a changed person now because I believe I’m great and perfect just the way God created me. For too long, I lived my life pleasing others just for the temporary satisfaction of feeling like I wasn’t worthless or just a “nobody”. However, now I understand and see the truth. He has humbled and amazed me. I would just like to share some verses that really helped me throughout this year. Hope they will encourage you as well :)
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen”- Ephesians 3:20-21
“My grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”- 2 Corinthians 12:9
“We must go through many hardships to go through the kingdom of heaven:- Acts 14:22
“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart”- 1 Samuel 16:7
“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” -Ecclesiastes 3:11
credit to sheenalovessunsets for her awesome drawings :)
GOOD NIGHT.
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